It has always driven me crazy that I have to “give permission” to my kids in order for them to attend to some basic human needs. “Mr. Bogush, can I use the lav?” “Mr. Bogush, can I get a drink?” Could you imagine having to email me each time you needed to pee! Or call down and get permission from the principal to go to the bathroom!
Last week I made a deal with my homeroom that I will no longer give anyone permission to use the bathroom or get a drink. The reality is, I just need to know where they are, and out of courtesy, I would like them to tell me before they leave the class. “Mr. Bogush I‘m going to the bathroom.” I like that sound of that much better.
If we feel the need to control when they pee, then we probably also feel like we have to control a whole host of other actions. What kind of other rules do you have in place that at their core are meant to control kids? Even when a kid talks out in class you can try to control the kid—“you will be quiet because I said so.” Or you can handle it so that the kid is placed in a situation in which they decide to control themselves. So many people complain about kids not being responsible. Maybe we can start by allowing them to be responsible for when they pee…what a renegade thought eh?
I know what you are thinking…but if you set your class up in a certain way, no, all of your kids will not spend then entire period in the bathroom
I noticed on Twitter that many of the popular blog posts that get re-tweeted are always lists. Some past examples are:
25 Uses of Google Wave in gym class
5 Ways to use iPhones during lunch to boost test scores
15 2.0 Tools to make you a popular Chemistry teacher
10 Free downloads to organize your 15 2.0 tools that made you a popular chemistry teacher
100 Sites that every teacher should use to get their kids ready for the 23rd Century
95 online tools to determine what online tools you use the most when online
75 tech tips on how to get more tech into your 1:1 classroom
30 wikis to read if you want to start blogging
25 Blogs every teacher must read because 10 other blogs all agreed that they must read them
45 online tools to make it look like you are teaching from the comfort of your favorite pub
5 recipes all pub teachers must have after teaching all night from the pub
3 ways to embed a video about how to not use power point into a power point about not using power point
(sorry, I have lost the links to the above sites)
So in my quest for popularity and a desire to possibly hit triple digits in views for one day, my last post for 2009 will not be a deep reflective piece, but simply a list of 78 videos that I use throughout the year for various reasons. You may find them incredibly useful, a total waste of time, a great use of your free time, or maybe just a source of a few laughs. I would really appreciate it if you added your favorite videos in the comment section.
Last Friday our podcast team welcomed a special guest into our virtual studio, the Governor of Connecticut M. Jodi Rell. We were very excited about being able to interview the highest ranking government official in our state. The kids decided to invite her about a month ago and after a few emails back and forth a date and time was settled. This was set to be a “virtual” interview using skype to her land-line. I should add that the kids pick who they want to interview and do all the correspondence necessary to secure a date and time themselves. I do peek over their shoulder, but they are in control.
When the interview started I think everyone was a bit nervous. You have to imagine a small little table with a laptop being used to call and record, another laptop for the interviewers to receive questions from the listening audience, two big microphones, headsets on everyone, a big mixer to bring all the audio together, wires everywhere, and four kids and myself connected to all of those wires. It is a bit of a choatic scene. The interview started and immediatly we knew we had a sound problem. We could hear her clearly, but she was having trouble hearing us. Then someone botched the introduction, two kids started talking at once, one kid mispronounced a word in one of the questions, and the person receiving questions from the audience read the wrong one which was no longer connected to what she was talking about. Because of the sound issue, we had to tell the Governor of Connecticut that we would have to hang-up and call her back to see if we could get a better connection.
During those first five minutes my face turned red, I was making all sorts of faces at the kids, and pointing all sorts of fingers. After having problems trying to call her back, we finally got connected and it was clear from the Governors voice that she was much happier now that she could hear us clearly.
At the end of the interview I was ticked off over what had happended during the first five minutes and let the kids know it. I couldn’t let it go. Something along the lines of “We only have one chance to interview people and we can’t afford mistakes.”
After they left for their next class I thought about what I did and said…
You have to realize how incredibly hard it is to interview someone. Just because you have seen hundreds of interviews on TV, trust me…being on either end of a interview is so much harder than you would realize. Multiply the difficulty rating by 100 when you can’t see the person you are talking to. The amount of adreniline shooting through you as the call is being placed is awesome, staying clam and thinking clearly is real hard to do…especially if you are a kid and you have only done one other interview. You are think about what they said, what they are saying, and what you think they will say next so that you can ask the prepared questions and the spontaneous questions from the audience in a manner that allows the interview to flow seamlessly.
So after rewinding my emotions I reprocessed the interview…
The interview starts and it’s hard to hear and everyone knows the governor is upset about it from the tone of her voice (the podcast is edited, we took out much of the beginning!). A kid messes up the introduction, no one besides us would notice, he stays calm and flawlessly picks up and continues. Two kids talk at the same time and immediatly coomunicate with their bodies as to who should continue and they stay calm and composed and go with it. The Governor is obvioulsy getting a bit ticked at not being able to her us but the kids stay calm and show great patience in trying to help her understand the questions. We have to stop the call to try to get a better connection. When trying to call her back four times the call doesn’t go through. The teacher was using the wrong area code…grrrr. While the teacher is busy messing up because he is losing his cool the are calmly re-organizing for the rest of the interview.
There were five people at our table. Only four acted professionally…my four kids. They were under control the entire time, and I am the one who turned red and lost it.
What did I learn? When I was done reflecting I realized how ridiculuous my actions and thoughts were. Even they get it–mistakes will be made, you learn from them and move on.
I think we all need to remember that we might be teaching something for the 15th year in a row, but to the kids it’s the first time. We can see the problem we are going over with them from hundreds of angles. We tell them to present and we have hundreds of ideas from experience in our head. We have to remember that for them it’s the first time and simple mistakes will be made. They are suppose to be made. A basketball coach does not expect a team to run a play perfectly the first time. Teachers need to remember that perfection will not occur immediatly. I think if we are doing our job properly, mistakes, should probably outnumber successes. I wonder about student products that are produced that have no mistakes. Shouldn’t an entire unit and final product be full of mistakes? Wouldn’t that show kids pushing themselves beyond their limits? If you give kids a challenging unit and there are no mistakes in the final product, was it appropriately challenging? By expecting perfection do we minimize the challenge?…do we eliminate the risk?…do we extinguish true learning?
I should finish by saying that I gathered the interview team together at the end of the day and apoligized. Told them I was proud of the fact that they held it together, showed great poise, and had a terrific interview, and was sorry for my words and actions. They are a super bunch of kids and if you ever get the chance, follow our tweets and join them live for an interview one day. The never cease to amaze me.
Interview with the Governor is below, or you can go to our site.
As many teachers progress at the speed of light, they have to remember that they started small. Their path to change started at the speed of a crawl. Years later when they are up and running they sometimes turn to other teachers and ask them to come running with them, and are shocked when they are turned down. This post is a reminder that if you want to help someone change don’t make them run, but help them first to crawl.
Every teacher down in Teacherville liked teaching a lot, but the kids, who lived in Teacherville – well, many of them did not. The teachers hated change – the whole school season. Now, please don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that their shoes were too tight. Or it could be that their heads weren’t screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that before you can walk…you must learn to crawl.
Twas the week before winter break and all through the school
The movies were playing, it was the half-day rule;
The gold stars were hung by the doors with care,
The chart was suppose to show, the students who cared;
The children were nestled all stuck in their chairs,
While visions of change brought their teacher much fear;
The teacher walked around, awoke students with a snap,
Trying to prevent them from taking a nap,
When out in the hallway there arose such a clatter,
The teacher sprang to door to see what was the matter.
It was the class across the hall, that gave her alarm,
And she tore open the door and threw up her arms.
The faces she saw smiled, giggled and glowed too,
In stark contrast to the classroom that she always knew,
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature laptop, there were eight tiny Acers,
With little tiny students, so lively and quick,
She knew in a moment it must be a trick.
Six groups working hard, none of the topics were the same,
And as she paused returning to her class, she realized her worksheets were lame;
“Now, Davis! now Jenny,! now, Trin and Billy!
Stop what you’re doing Kenya, Nicole and Willy!
Tear up those papers! Turn off the TV!
Now! throw it away! throw it away and destroy the DVD!”
The teacher decided, to let her kids free,
But she was met with an obstacle, NCLB,
She walked up to the front of the room that she led,
A room full of 504s, and six kids in special ed.
And then, in a twinkling, she heard a kid say,
So what are we doing, what will we do today.
As she took a deep breath, and wondered what to do with a frown,
When across the hallway came five little kids with a bound.
They were dressed all in costumes from their head to their feet,
And behind them their teacher appeared and looked at her kids in their seats,
A bundle of computers he had flung on his cart,
And the teacher just stopped and looked at the old fart..
His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His cute little students were active and learning,
And his test scores were soaring and he did not look worried;
The movie his kids were making needed a few actors more,
And he decided to ask for help from the teacher that peeked into his door;
She thought he had happy kids and a room full of laughter,
But clearly the kids needed more discipline to sit like hers were.
There were strange assessments and tech stuff not like she did,
And he smiled as he approached her and surprised her with what he said;
“We need extras for our movies that we are going to publish on the web;”
She spoke not a word, she simply shook her head yes,
And then that old fart came in and took care of the rest,
Laying a finger up into the air,
He added her kids into his groups with care;
They sprang from their seats like tiny little missiles,
And worked in groups until they heard the teacher’s whistle.
The kids then filmed and acted out their plays written on civil rights
And she sat back and watched and said “Now this is a beautiful site.”
And what happened then…?
Well in Teacherville they say,
That the teacher’s will to change
Grew three sizes that day.
And the minute her heart relaxed and did not feel so tight,
She knew that changing her class was the thing that was right.
And she threw out the worksheets! And thought maybe at least…
Crawling towards change…
Would cause learning to increase.
During this holiday season give the gift of collaboration to your colleagues…
Ask them to participate in a big or small way,
They might be ready, ready to say yes today.
Because sometimes when people get stuck and seem to stall,
All they need is a helping hand… Because the first step to change is a crawl.
Blo-set: (blôzt)
A place that offers safety to readers who aren’t yet ready to start commenting on blogs
There have been some incredible comments lately from first time visitors, and long time lurkers. Many of the comments are worthy of being separated out and becoming posts of their own worthy of continued reflection. Frankly, I think that the comments on the posts from November are more worthy of being read than the posts themselves. I am in awe that so many people have spent so much time writing incredibly thought provoking comments. So instead of a normal post, I leave you with some of the thoughts that have been floating around in my head that I write down on a piece of paper and carry around in my pocket each day. I invite you to please take one and reflect on it in a comment, or on your own blog and leave a link to the post in a comment. You own this blog post. I would love to know what you think. If you have been out of the bloset for a while, please set the example and leave one on this post or write your own. If you are still in the bloset, I would especially love for you to come out of the bloset today by leaving a comment and let us know what you are thinking!
Do your students trust you?
Are your beliefs obstacles to growth?
When was the last time you asked the kids what they wanted to do?
There are over 100,000 app choices for an iphone…how many choices do your kids have to individualize their final product?
If given a choice, would students choose to come to your class?
Is everything that can be “taught” to another person relatively inconsequential and have little or no significant influence on behavior?
Loneliness and smiling are both contagious.
Do you get upset when kids act in their best interest?
Discipline when they are “good”-no one listens when there are “bad.”
Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe. – Abraham Lincoln
How much of each class is spent forcing the kids to do the exact same thing?
When kids are afraid they try to gain control of anything they can.
Can you make each kid feel special in their own way?
If we spent less time prodding kids to do things, and instead spent more time modeling, showing, and encouraging them to do things…they would do more things.
From @ddmeyer The biggest challenge for a year 1 teacher is classroom management. What is the biggest challenge in year 5, 10, 20, 30?
What are the questions you ask yourself at the beginning of planning each unit? at the end?
Does “I don’t care” really me “I really care but I just don’t know where to start?”
Should one kid be sacrificed, for the greater good of the class…
I stumbled into my first teaching job by accident. I had been working at a camp for years and one summer day the year before graduating a person who had been bringing his kids there for years walked up to me and asked me if I wanted a job for the following year. He said he had been watching me for years and thought I would make a great addition to the school system he worked in. This was in 1990. Now I don’t know what it was like in the rest of the country, but teaching jobs around here were getting 600+ applicants. It was impossible to get a job, and I was offered one the summer before my senior year. Pretty cool eh? So while everyone else was worried and sending out applications I just sat back and smiled. Early in the spring of 1991 I called the person I was supposed to contact that would officially interview me and get the ball rolling. I went in and was shuffled to a back cubicle where I sat down, was looked over and offered a job in a new program that combined the “tough” kids, education, and the outdoors–my dream job. Looking back I realize how naive I was. I never realized I was being ushered in through a series of political connections, totally avoiding the normal channels.
The summer came and went, a couple calls in told me to just hold on. A week before school started I was told the program was axed. Tough job market, one week before school….started looking for that miracle opening to appear. While I was preparing my resumes I called the original school system every day asking if a position had opened. Two weeks into school, I was told yes. Little did I know that yes led to me being the first person in my family to go gray. I showed up in what ended up being the toughest middle school in the state by almost any stat you could examine: test scores, crime, or number of parents beaten with 2×4s in the hallways. I walked in to replace another person who was not a teacher, but another town employee who was placed there so that he could continue collecting a salary. I walked in to a place in which I was the white guy. Almost every kid was African American, with a few Hispanic students mixed in. Did I mention I grew up in a town that was, and is still considered and mocked in editorials as the most racist town around? A couple weeks ago I was cleaning out my closet. I went deeper than I had ever gone before. I pulled out some loose sheets of paper out of a box that turned out to be 10 “journal” entries that I kept during my first month of teaching–I had totally forgotten that I had ever had one. What follows is some excerpts from those entries. A reminder to us all that it’s tough to be a beginner. It is even tougher if you are in one of “those schools.” For those of you in private schools, or the suburbs, the pain and agony of the inner city teacher is unfathomable unless you experienced it first hand. You just simply can’t imagine how different it is.
I am not going to go into all the hidden messages about why I am posting things. I think if you have read this blog before, you will pick up on many reasons why these would be posted. I do want to be clear about one reason. Everyone knows a teacher who might do or say things that they disagree with and therefore write-off the teacher as one of “those” teachers. As you read these entries, You will recognize one of “those” teachers. I wasn’t though…I just simply did not know of any alternative methods. If someone had walked up to me offered up an alternative, or if there had been someone I could have reached out to, I wonder how different my first years would have been. I would like to challenge everyone walk up to a first year teacher offer them an alternative way of doing things. It took me ten years to start considering true alternatives to traditional schooling. I didn’t have anyone who could have walked up to me to offer an alternative. If you have the chance, don’t waste it. Someone just like me could be waiting for your advice.
September 12, 1991
Teaching is more difficult than I ever imagined. I’m experiencing failure for one of the first times…everyone that makes the rules for schools should stand in the shoes of a teacher for one day. One girl already mumbled under her breath that she “hates white teachers.” Tomorrow I have to bang on them from the moment they step into the classroom. Tomorrow is my biggest day yet.
September 16, 1991
I have so many big ideas, but I am afraid they won’t listen. They don’t even come close to understanding that if they listen now, we could do great things later. They don’t care. There seems to be nothing in their life to reinforce school….I believe if there was homogeneous grouping I would be able to do so much more, assuming the lower classes were smaller. I feel that if the classes were half the size they are now, I could achieve my goals, but now just worry about discipline. The word I hate is coming back to haunt me. That is my only goal this week, not to teach but to discipline, how sad. The only thing that keeps me going is looking forward to the days off. I can’t wait to see Aimee, I am really in love!
September 17, 1991
I keep asking myself how I will make it through the year. I’m just too fresh, too young, too white. I’m being taken advantage of so much. The damn $^(^% girls are the worst. They are practically oblivious to me. Today I yelled at one girl and she just yelled back. So humiliating…can’t wait for the year to end.
September 19, 1991
Today I’m going home feeling much better. Why? I don’t exactly know. I think every class learned something new. The old saying you only remember the last thing is true. Two kids stayed for detention and we did some school stuff and they learned. Then we played some “educational” basketball. They asked to come back for detention tomorrow. I have no luck!!
Sunday 22, 1991
Went to the Red Sox/Yankee game up at Fenway. It was th e best game I ever saw, except I couldn’t pay attention because all I was thinking about was school.
September 23, 1991
Today I am leaving practically stress free and whistling. It’s true you can’t smile until Christmas. 4th and 7th period is getting better. They’re the only classes I have gotten anything out of yet. Someday I hope I’ll be great, but right now I am just an average Joe. Now I am off to sign my first contract ever.
September 24, 1991
Today is not a stress free day. Everyday is a bigger war. The 7th graders are better but I have to crack down on the 8th graders. Tomorrow are the mastery tests and out of control. I really have to crack down on the 8th grade. I’m getting angrier and angrier so it’ll be easier hopefully!
September 25, 1991
Another day bites the dust!! Today I’m going home feeling alright. I’m finally starting to realize I have to be mean to start to do anything with the kids. I loved being mean today, because then I felt much better. The kids stayed quiet and everything goes alright. I gotta get a mean streak. I have to start getting respect. 169 days left!!
September 26, 1991
Today is great, because tomorrow is Friday.
September 27, 1991
“Fear cannot be without hope, nor hope without fear.”
November 24, 2009
I really wish now that I had continued writing that first year. As I look back I can’t even imagine having written those words. I spent ten years at that school and left with a truck load of guilt. When I left I was in many ways a master of behavior management, but still a first year teacher when it came to planning engaging lesson. The very “worst” kid in my current school would have been the valedictorian at my old school. I have now realized that I did what it took to survive. My lessons were laced with behavior management tricks and treats. I planned everything with discipline in mind. After leaving that school I actually had space and time to actually think. Things were actually so stressful at my old school that I stopped reading because it reminded me of work. After switching jobs I started to read again. I started to think. My imagination came back. I started to dream.
Most readers of this blog are also dreamers. You are probably a progressive teacher. You are probably one heck of an asset to your system but might feel alone. Just remember that one of those teachers that you..we…write off as being a person who doesn’t want to change could be someone just like me. Someone one who is just lost. Someone who is just desperate to talk to someone, who is just like you.
I was out yesterday and happened to end up sitting next to five six graders. They were talking about all the typical things that sixth graders would talk about and then they shifted to a serious discussion about their teachers. I have to say before describing their conversation that all of my teachers sensors said that this was a great bunch of kids, the kind you would want in your class. Also when the conversation shifted to school they were being serious, they were not trying to insult their teachers. At first I was just listening, but then had to take out and pen and paper to write down some quotes(might be a few words off but they are pretty close).
“I made one line crocked and she took off points. It didn’t change the meaning and no one else on the world would have cared.”
“I put one extra space in between the answers and she took off points.”
“I got a ‘B’ on my spelling test. He asked me what I thought. I thought a B was pretty good but I said ‘I think I should work harder.’ “
“Even when we do great on work and work hard they find something to mark wrong so you can feel bad about yourself.”
“They always make sure they they find something on your paper that they take off points so that they can say ‘I taught them something.’”
They went on and on and eventually just started laughing at all the actions of their teachers. What started to take shape were not the lessons they learned from their teacher’s comments, words, actions, or assignments, but how they learned to play the system to keep them off their back. Even when the teacher thought they were learning, it was just them giving the teacher what they wanted to keep their grade up and the negative comments at bay.
Well of course I started to think about what my students were saying about me as they got together over the weekend. Yes, of course they talk about me when they get together. I am definitely more interesting than Lady GaGA. Then my mind shifted to what would I want them to say. What kind of class experience would I want them to be describing?
What are your kids saying about you? Put five of them into a room and what do they say about the time they spend with you? If you are middle/high school they spend about 170 hours a year with you. What impression are those hours leaving? If you are an elementary teacher, or a homeschooler, they spend a whole lot more.
I have some homework homelearning for you. Find an image that best depicts the experience you want your kids to have. You could interpret that as meaning your personal children, future kids, or current students. So whether you are a college professor, a homeschooler, a 3rd grade teacher, an online educator, or even if you don’t have any children yet I would love for you to contribute. If you are a student choose an image that depicts how you would like your education to be. Just click on the link and follow the directions.
1-Click on an empty slide to the left.
2-Click on Insert—>then image
3-Select the image from your computer or the url
4-Flickr images need to be saved and uploaded
5-Place any personal information you would like under the image
6-Click save and close
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about the power of words. It focused on the fact that the words that teachers use in a classroom can have the power to lift a student up, or tear them down. After writing the post I continued to think about the words teachers use, not their effect, but why they are chosen in the first place. Why do teachers label kids with certain words? Why does a teacher chose to label a kid a jerk? Why does a teacher label a student lazy? Why does a teacher label a kid unfocused, rude, disrespectful, terrible, or “doesn’t work up to their potential?”
I realized early in my career that teachers actually have the same students each year. After the first month or so all the students get shuffled into the roles of the previous year’s students and they receive their name. You have probably met some of them. There was Joe “Lazy,” Kathleen “Doesn’t want to work up to her potential,” Frank “Rude,” Mary “Her parents don’t even care,” Harold “Doesn’t care about anything,” Nicole “I waste my time with her,” Jerry “Never asks questions,” Helen “Doesn’t come back for extra help,” Greg “Never focused,” Melissa “Doesn’t Study,” and Carey “Needs to pay more attention.”
Those labels take the pressure off teachers. Why is Greg failing? It is because he is never focused. Why does Mary not pass in any homework? It’s because her parents don’t care. See how easy it is! If you give each kid a label and a reason for their actions you remove responsibility from the teacher to figure it out and place it on the student. There is no need to continue wondering what is going on and why the kid is having problems. Greg would simply do better in class if he just focused. After labeling we perceive all of their actions as coming from that label.
We fear uncertainty. Labels prevent uncertainty by predicting results. Label a kid a jerk and that is what he is, no need to figure him out—it is certain what the problem is. No need to figure out why the kid is doing what they are doing. No need to try and figure out how to help the kid. They are just a jerk.
Labeling a kid also changes our reaction to their actions. When we label a kid we place our emotional baggage into the label and into our treatment of the kid. We react to everything based on past experiences that we have had. It is nearly impossible to not do this unless you stop, and realize that is what you are doing. We interpret the students’ actions as being done to us. If a student doesn’t hand in work the teacher says “He did not do MY work.” If a kid says that a class is boring it is “He told me that MY class was boring.” Teachers take the actions of the students personally, their words and actions hit on the baggage that we carry with us that was packed by our parents, our teachers, and our previous life experiences.
It’s easy to overreact when we interpret every event as done to us. And then afterwards, when we think about the action or re-tell the event it is just as good as experiencing it again. The same emotions boil up again, the same hormones are sent raging through our body. Research has shown that imagining an event is just as good as experiencing it in person. When a kid does something to you that you find offensive, how many times do you replay it in your head before the next day? By the time you see the kid 24 hours later it is like they stabbed you in the heart 100 times over because your brain has gone through the same process when you imagined it as when it actually happened. We have placed so much meaning into the words they have used that we no longer possess the ability to look at the action clearly and make an objective decision. We replay actions over and over in our head, feeding some need for us to be right and them to be wrong. We not only assign meaning to the words based on our emotional reaction, but also we need to make us victorious in the end—we must be right they must be wrong. We need to stop and not react to our reaction, but to the actual words and the person before us.
Not only does our baggage influence our reaction to a past event, but it also makes us predict the future. Think about what type of kids you hung out with when you were a teenager…I bet that you have no problem with kids you teach right now that would be considered part of that crowd. Think about the kids in high school that drove you crazy, and I bet you have problems connecting with that type of current student. Personal note—without identifying the group, there was one type of student that I never connected with for my first 12ish years of teaching. I then realized it was because of my past baggage with this “type” of student. Since then it has never been an issue. Come on…if you weren’t a metal head growing up, when a kid comes in on the first day with a Slayer shirt it’s hard to not have any preconceived notions about how they will behave and perform in your class.
The reality is that most teachers were good little students from good little homes. They sat up tall in their chairs, did all their homework, were respectful to adults, followed the rules, and played the game of school very well. When they come across a kid who doesn’t it is so hard to see that kid’s perspective. It is hard to for their mind to grasp why a kid does not “do well” in school. In those cases teachers rely on something that they can grasp to make sense out of the student’s behavior…label the kid with words.
“Words reduce reality to something the human mind can grasp.”
Eckhart Tolle
Yesterday I made my first presentation to a group of teachers. I led a session about integrating technology into the Social Studies Classroom at the Connecticut Council of Social Studies Annual Conference. I left very excited, not about my presentation, but about how much I learned about presenting this topic to adults. If it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in something, I have 9,999 more presentations before I become an expert in making this presentation. What is amazing is even though I have been teaching 13 year olds for 20 years, this presentation still made me feel like I was up in front of a class of kids for the very first time. The clock was not my friend. I realized that the first part of my plans that were suppose to last 5 minutes, was taking 20. At the 45 minute mark I realized that there was no way I was getting to what I considered the best part and the “highlights” of session. I also wish I had given out some kind of quick feed back form—right now the only thing in my head is what I thought went good and bad, which might be totally opposite of what the audience thought.
I would like to encourage everyone to consider sharing their passion at an upcoming conference. If you hadn’t noticed, there seems to be fewer and fewer classroom (or ex-classroom) teachers presenting—or has it always been this way and I am just starting to notice. Too many teachers tend to be afraid to share what they are great at doing, and that fear shaped my presentation. Last June Karenne Sylvester left a comment on one of my posts that stuck out for me: “All too often we spend ages thinking about the ways we’re not good enough without thinking of all the ways we shine.” So true. I ended up sticking to a more “nuts-and-bolts” presentation on tools rather than the powerful work my kids have done with them. By the time I relaxed and realized what I was doing there were five minutes left and I actually said “Do you mind if I brag about something great that my kids do.”
I have a few more proposals in for conferences this year. I really wish I had had the courage years ago to submit proposals. I would have many more hours under my belt on my way to becoming an expert. Even if my other three get accepted, I will still have 9,996 more presentations to go
Sticks and stones will break may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me.
What kind of lunatic wrote that? I have had broken bones, lost lots of blood, received lots of stitches, and have received many black eyes. I can’t remember the story behind half of them. The cuts have healed, the bones have healed, and the scars have faded. I have been hurt by words. The scars from those words are just as painful today as they were the day they were said to me.
Sticks and stones may break bones, but bones heal, words can leave permanent damage.
My 11 year old daughter came home with a spelling test Monday to be signed—all tests have to be signed, even if it is a 100. On this test she received an “A” and under the grade was a note from the teacher that read “Your handwriting is terrible. It must improve or I will give you extra homework.” Terrible?!! If you want a kid to improve do you call them terrible? If my daughter’s friend was to give a presentation in class would a kid be able to stand up and say “that was terrible!” There are so many ways to motivate children to change their habits. Why do so many teachers use mean words? My daughter is the type of kid that would do anything if a teacher asks. Why not lean over her shoulder and whisper “ You are doing awesome on your spelling tests, but if you can just write a little neater it would really help me be able to read your answers.” Instead she feels terrible because she has been labeled terrible.
The words that are chosen by a teacher carry so much meaning and power. I think we all forget just how much power we have. When a kid falls down in class and forgets homework, does poorly on a test, or even is the biggest thorn in our side, we have a choice to use words that beat them down or lift them up. Great teachers do not focus on beating kids down and putting them in their “place.” Great teachers lift kids up with their words and reveal to students that they can do what they previously thought was impossible. They find a way to give their kids wings.
Until the eagle’s children discovered their wings there was no purpose for their lives.
David McNally
Last night we had a conference with my other daughter’s teacher. My wife mentioned that my daughter was a bit tired of being stuck in the same class again with some…ummm…rambunctious kids. The teacher talked about how she is taking a positive approach with dealing with these kids. She is not using a marble jar or a system of punishing rules. She is trying some positive management schemes that impacts the individuals and not the entire class, and that slowly their behavior is shaping up and changing. What I noticed, and I might totally be wrong here, is that her voice and body posture changed while telling us this–almost like she was bashful about going against the educational gods by not simply laying down the law, being strict, and using all those mean words to show them who was boss. She is in a school in which class wide punishments for single kids actions are common, and as I stated previously, mean words are used to change behavior.
She and every teacher should realize that what you do to one kid you do to the entire class. Saying mean words to one kid, is just like infecting the entire class. It shows the class that being mean, sarcastic, putting them in their place, or yelling is an acceptable form of behavior, and it should not surprise us that the students in those rooms often get in trouble for doing and saying the same things that the teachers have said to them. Using words to lift students, lifts the entire class. Being kind even while “disciplining” a kid reminds the entire class to be kind even when they are dealing with the knuckleheads in this world. In my daughter’s class it might take 10 months to get the kids “under control” but my daughter will have learned that love is more powerful than being mean. You can actually change negative behaviors by being kind, loving, and yes…even by being fun.
I wonder if mean words come from giving work that is not authentic… With authentic work, the lesson learned comes from the results. Miss a meeting and your client doesn’t hire you. Hand in paper work for a grant late and you don’t get the money. Repair cars incorrectly and the shop asks you to leave. Don’t make correct change as a cashier and the difference is taken from your pay. If you do something wrong in school for an assignment that in reality does not mean anything, do teachers feel the need to tech you a lesson with their words? Or do the words come from a place that is angry not because of the students actions but because of the teachers inability to control the actions?
I have noticed that by the time kids get to me they have already been “taught” who they are, how they should act, what they will be. Not blantantly, but in a subliminal way. The “smart” kids are encouraged to go onward and upward, the “troubled” kids, whether behavior or academic, are told do “this” or else–they are stuck in a constant struggle with someone who is trying to control them. The troubled kids have stopped believing in themselves, have stopped believing that they can use their wings to fly, and that they do have a purpose in this world. We spend a lot of time putting them down. We should be spending our time lifting them up and teaching them to spread their wings and fly.
The next time you have the have the opportunity to speak to a kid about that annoying behavior they have, whether it’s talking in class, not putting their name on their paper, chewing gum, or even being a bully…try using words that lift them up, instead of words that put them down. In the end you want them to fly with the eagles, instead of scratching down with the chickens
A man once found an eagle’s egg and put it in the nest of a barnyard hen. The eagle hatched and grew up with the rest of a brood of chicks and though he didn’t look at all the same. He scratched the earth for worms and bugs and played the chicken’s games. The eagle clucked and cackled, he made a chicken’s sound; He thrashed his wings, but only flew some two feet off the ground. That’s high as chickens fly, the eagle had been told. The years passed and one day when the eagle was quite old. He saw something magnificent flying very high and making great majestic circles up there in the sky. He’d never seen the likes of it. “What’s that?” he asked in awe, while he watched in wonder at the grace and power he saw. “Why that’s an eagle,” someone said, “He belongs up there, it’s clear. Just as we, since we are chickens, belong earthbound down here.” The old eagle just accepted that, most everybody does. And he lived and died a chicken, for that’s what he thought he was.
